Does this sound familiar? "I want him to be sensitive, caring, and sweet; good looking, but not arrogant; listen attentively; know how to cook; be strong but not be afraid to show his feelings; successful and driven; passionate; generous; love me unconditionally; and know how to please me." The good news ladies is that this guy does exist. The bad news is that he's gay!! Society has cultivated many women's minds into creating an unrealistic, fictitious character that they seek as a dream guy. There may as well be an "S" on his chest with a red cape and blue tights. Get this guy out of your head. He is sitting at a gay bar on Bourbon street watching ANTM.
OK, so you have standards. You should! A man should meet a certain criteria to be with a quality woman(assuming you are of quality). But this is not a job interview. Qualifications & experience are not prerequisites for a good relationship. I can name dozens of men that look good on paper but would make terrible husbands. Your list of requirements is sure to keep you lonely or unsatisfied at night. Any real man, will not stay around to be evaluated in a manner similar to job performance.
Single? Alone? Can't get a man to seriously commit? What do I do?
1. Realize-Realize that the traits that make you successful in your career(ambition, tenacity, drive, competition) will not serve you well in a relationship. A man measures a good woman not by her beauty, or bank account, but by her ability to nurture & support him. Her knack for making him feel like the best man in the world and motivating him to do better. Whether you teach school or run a fortune 500 company, if you can't make a man feel like a man, you will never have one. If you tear down a man's spirit, he will resent you, and never be what you want him to be. You don't have to be right every time. There should be a difference in how you approach the world, and how you approach your relationship.
2. Relax- Must you point out all of his flaws? Must you stand over him while he fixes the fan to let him know how crooked it is? Do you have to prove him wrong every time he makes a statement? The fact is, if a man points out all of your insecurities all the time, you will feel small and unwanted. Why do you do it to him? He is not Denzel, but you are not Halle either. A man needs room to be a man. He needs to be wrong and find out on his own. He needs to mess up and then fix it without hearing 1000 times that he messed up. By nature, the man is the head of the household. If he does not feel like to head of the relationship, he will either leave, or you will be with a male(not a man). Don't find it necessary to be confrontational in every aspect of a relationship. Being right is overrated.
3. Submit-This is a word that women hate! This doesn't mean that he should dominate you, but the roles are clear. A man is the head, and a woman is the backbone. We are made to lead; to protect; to provide. However, a body cannot stand without a strong backbone. A strong backbone will hold the body upright and firm, and keep it strong enough to get through the challenges ahead. A weak backbone will make it painful to move forward, and the head will not look as confident. You see, a woman's role is just as important. A man needs a strong woman(backbone) to move forward. But there can only be one head. Don't get being a strong independent woman confused with being the head of a household. We know you don't need us to make it in life, but if you make it alone, who will be there to enjoy it with you?
This may not taste good, but it's good for you!!!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment