Real Father's, Real Men!!!!!!!!!!

We all know that Father's day doesn't get as much play as mother's day. We have to settle for the same gifts every year(ties, shirts etc.). But much of that is warranted, and is a reflection of the impact that we have on our children's lives as a whole. For the most part, we have been absent. Not only physically, but financially, and emotionally. It is commonplace to hear someone speak of growing up in a single parent environment, or hating their father for his neglect as a child.

The excuses are for the birds, and any man with a child is officially called out to do his part to raise that child responsibly. I am making a personal promise to hold any friend that I have with children, accountable to them. The fellas can wait. It you want to reclaim your position in the household, you must earn respect back from your family.

Your baby mam is tripping? So what? Once she sees a man acting responsibly and consistently doing what he is suppose to do, she will only make herself look stupid to hinder you from that. You have to demand the opportunity to be a father to your child. I can't imagine being kept from my son without a fight. No matter how much she dislikes me, she knows I will do anything for him and respects that. I won't go on a rant, but we need to get it together.

From today on, earn your right to celebrate Father's Day!!!!!!!!!!!!

WTF!!!!!! Has justice really been served?

Surely Donte' Stallworth got a favor from the Gods on this one. After killing a man while drunk driving, he received a 30 jail sentence, probation, a lifetime suspended driver's license, and a financial agreement. In addition he will continue to play football. His lawyer is about to be a household name. As much as I am a lenient person, this punishment certainly does not fit the crime.

Compare this to Michael Vick, who killed some animals, served 2 years in a real prison, was stripped of all his money, and lost his job with no guarantee of a return. Where are our priorities as a country. Is the life of a working man that unimportant, or are dogs lives' that special? I can't call this one.

Hate me now!!!!!!!

All of the excuses of why Kobe isn't great must cease. You can still not like him as a person, but you cannot deny his ability as a basketball player, and his legacy as one of the all time greats. Please Kobe haters, give him his props!!

OH how I love Black Music!!!!!

What type music do you know, that can express the pain, frustration, love, passion, anger, & happiness like black music. No matter what genre: gospel, soul, blues, jazz, or hip-hop, the emotion expressed through black music is unique.

What would we do without it? How could we get through trials and overcome tribulation without the medium of music to artistically translate our circumstances. Being that this is Black Music Month, I thought it appropriate to show appreciation for all of the artists out there, big or small.

Take a minute and come up with a soundtrack of your life. 10-15 songs that relate to some of the most significant events in your life. Here is mine:

1. Giving Up-Donny Hathaway

2. Because I love you-Lenny Williams

3. Never Would have made it- Marvin Sapp

4. Maybe I Deserve it- Tank

5. Parents just don't understand-Fresh Prince

6. Soon you'll understand-Jay-Z

7. Far More- R. Kelly

8. Forever-R. Kelly

9. Heat of the Moment-After 7

10. Never Felt this way-Brian Mcknight

11. Jamie Foxx-Blame it on...

12. I can change-John Legend

13. The beautiful one-Prince

14. Change gonna come-Sam Cooke

15. My President is black-Young Geezy

Barry Bond's wife files for divorce!

The question is, will she stay loyal to him, or expose any dark secrets he has about steroids? It's cheaper to keep her!!!

The Myspace Dilemna! How the web is destroying relationships!

Gone are the days of finding a phone number in your man's wallet, or a love letter he kept in a shoe box under the bed. Nowadays, technology has made it easy to cheat, and even easier to get caught. From cell phones, to the Internet, to GPS, anyone can become big brother and track a loved ones activities. But the solution to catching a cheater, is also the cause of the problem.

Social Networking has hit the scene so hard, that millions of people stay connected throughout each and every day, from thousands of miles away. Learning the basics about someone is as simple as pulling up their profile. You have pictures from different angles, their likes and dislikes, interests, and availability. You can learn their hangout spots, preferences, and even who their friends and family are. The ease in with which a person can interact with members of the opposite sex is unprecedented. Therein lies the temptation!

Most men go out to a club(single & involved) to admire the abundance of beautiful women in attendance, and if lucky, to enjoy the company of some. Now, a man can go to Myspace, Facebook etc. and enjoy the company of thousands with the wiggle of a mouse. Even if his intentions are honorable with you, the temptation of having the millions of sexy women accessible to him is enough to make any man at least take a look. Eventually, looking becomes admiring; admiring becomes acknowledging; acknowledging becomes flirting; flirting becomes any of many possibilities. I know what you will say: "If he loves me, he has no reason to do that!"

To answer that, let me speak to the nature of a man. We are visual by nature. The look of a thing more than anything else attracts us, whether it be a woman, a car, a house, jewelry etc. Even the most faithful man will not miss an opportunity to catch a Cinemax soft porno, or the King Magazine spread. And every man! I repeat; every man, has a flick collection!!! To offer him the option of browsing through his cities most beautiful women on a free website, is like showing an convicted felon a picture of a naked woman. Many men get themselves in trouble with what starts off as innocent browsing. Some do have ill intent, but many just let a conversation get a little too far, and it jeopardizes their relationship. There is no excuse for cheating, but what the Internet does is expose what is already a weakness for many men.

This outbreak of Networking sites has placed a new threat to what were once wonderful relationships. A game of cat and mouse is in play, with one person erasing messages, and the other breaking the passwords, then the other changing accounts, then the other following tweets. As recently as last week, a star NFL player was arrested for domestic abuse after his girlfriend attacked him for an inappropriate facebook message. A facebook message???????

I don't pretend to have any answers for this epidemic. I only see it getting worse. Woman can be just as guilty. I know many who have hooked up with a Myspace buddy. I'll say this: If you want your relationship to be free of this, then simplify your life and cut down of the use of technology.

Your thoughts?

Which style is better, baggy or tight?

Which do you prefer on your men, the baggy look, or the tight look? Both look like extremes of what a man should wear, but you decide which is better.

On the rebound?

Both Riri & C. Breezy got their weekend activity on in full party mode. Looks like both are over it already.

Why do we pay more?

Recently, I went to a club that I frequent on a night that is not a popular for black people. I just wanted to get a drink and hang out. What I discovered really pissed me off. A club that has charged us as much as $50 admission on some days, and drinks as much as $9 a glass, had free admission & $6 drinks in a packed club. Do we have that little power, that we can allow prices to be jacked up on us for no apparent reason? Why are the most popular club promoters in every city never the ones that own the club? Are we that much of a liability that we should pay twice what everyone else pays?

Your thoughts?

Money Tip Monday- Credit Tip!!!!!!

If you are like me, at some point at the beginning of your adult life, you found a way to mess up your credit by falling into the credit card trap. If you didn't, you were ahead of the curve. On my road back to Financial Independence, I discovered a simple way to rebuild my word and my credit: Collateral Loans.

A collateral loan is a loan from a bank using your own money as collateral. A bank will be willing to allow you to borrow money if they know they have a way to get the funds back in case you do not pay. It is a win win for any financial institution. First, if you do not have funds deposited in a bank already, I suggest putting $1K-$2K in a savings account. Go to your bank and ask for a collateral loan based on what you have saved. They will ask what length of time you want to pay it back. Put anywhere from 12-24 months. You can generally borrow this money at a much lower rate because it is backed up by your own funds.

Once you have access to the funds, either put the money in another account, or somewhere that you know you will not be tempted to spend it. Pay the monthly amounts due for 4-5 months without being late, from the actual money that you received. In the sixth month, pay the loan in full. This will establish a good payment history, as well as a paid in full loan.

This loan will be reflected on your credit. It will not show that it was backed by collateral. It will only show that you had a good payment history with a bank, and you paid off a loan. If you do this 3-4 times, you will put yourself back in a position to establish your credit and your word.

Not your father's America!

It not that guys like Rush Limbaugh are racist. I'm sure he has a black golfing buddy somewhere. The hate he and many others spew in different media outlets is not race, ethnic or gender based. In my opinion, it is based on fear. They fear the change that is happening. The growth and opportunity of other races. The realization of wealth accumulation by people outside the circle. The evolution of the country and the world frightens them. It is based on a term I like to call "Generational Entitlement!" Their fathers, and the fathers before them, ran this country and controlled all of the decisions made to form what we call America. We all know that the country was taken by force in the first place, and blossomed through the labor of slaves. Even the global power we know as "Wall Street" made its first true profits with the sale of slaves.

What has set in over these centuries in the minds of those that rule is a sense of entitlement. The land that was so well cultivated by slaves, and now mostly owned by whites, is passed down generationally with a sense that it was based on their ancestors hard work. Businesses that were started with child and slave labor decades ago, are held with the pride of the evilness of their forefathers. The mindset of the conservative agenda is wholly based in keeping things as they have been; with whites controlling everything.

Just as we have developed a slave mentality in many of our affairs, whites, especially those who lead, have a slave owners mentality. Generational entitlement has set in, and the belief that money, power, ownership, and control is due them, energizes the fear that change is coming. A "Black Man" in power wasn't suppose to happen. Opportunity for other races? That wasn't on the agenda. Hispanics, Blacks, & Asians moving into our neighborhoods? How did they get here? A music artist owning his own masters? How am I suppose to make money off of him?

Power is shifting hands, but they will not go down without a fight! We all know who owns major corporations, banks, land, oil & gas leases. These companies made money from buying and selling our debt, and coercing us into borrowing more, but when the bottom fell out, they felt entitled to be bailed out. Meanwhile, the individuals that have put their blood, sweat, & tears into building these companies up, are still left to swim without a lifeguard. But trust me, power is shifting hands. You can tell because their hate is getting much more aggressive. they are willing to say things that would have been considered politically incorrect a few years ago. They publicly question things that went unnoticed a short time ago. Rush Limbaugh is a spokesmen for these entitlists. We are viewed as the enemy, because we threaten their power reign. Our progress is their loss. Our prosperity is their detriment. It is a zero sum game, and our victory will be their defeat.

In our minds, we are not at war. The perfect world would allow us to live in harmony, and prosper together. We would like nothing more than to be respected and treated as equals. We don't want handouts, just opportunity. Can it be that it was all so simple? We must remember that our country's founders could not live in harmony with the Indians. Whites refused to live in harmony with blacks. Now the rich and powerful are making their case that they cannot coexist with the rest of us. Their riches are well earned; our struggles are well deserved.

So please understand that what drives the hate, intolerance, and lack of understanding, is that we are finding a way to get what has for so many centuries been theirs: A piece of the pie!!!!!

CLOWN!!!!!! Need I say more?

I can't even begin to explain how foolish this dude looks. One question:
Would you take him to meet your mother?

Rich? Successful? Beautiful? Lonely?

Does this sound familiar? "I want him to be sensitive, caring, and sweet; good looking, but not arrogant; listen attentively; know how to cook; be strong but not be afraid to show his feelings; successful and driven; passionate; generous; love me unconditionally; and know how to please me." The good news ladies is that this guy does exist. The bad news is that he's gay!! Society has cultivated many women's minds into creating an unrealistic, fictitious character that they seek as a dream guy. There may as well be an "S" on his chest with a red cape and blue tights. Get this guy out of your head. He is sitting at a gay bar on Bourbon street watching ANTM.

OK, so you have standards. You should! A man should meet a certain criteria to be with a quality woman(assuming you are of quality). But this is not a job interview. Qualifications & experience are not prerequisites for a good relationship. I can name dozens of men that look good on paper but would make terrible husbands. Your list of requirements is sure to keep you lonely or unsatisfied at night. Any real man, will not stay around to be evaluated in a manner similar to job performance.

Single? Alone? Can't get a man to seriously commit? What do I do?

1. Realize-Realize that the traits that make you successful in your career(ambition, tenacity, drive, competition) will not serve you well in a relationship. A man measures a good woman not by her beauty, or bank account, but by her ability to nurture & support him. Her knack for making him feel like the best man in the world and motivating him to do better. Whether you teach school or run a fortune 500 company, if you can't make a man feel like a man, you will never have one. If you tear down a man's spirit, he will resent you, and never be what you want him to be. You don't have to be right every time. There should be a difference in how you approach the world, and how you approach your relationship.

2. Relax- Must you point out all of his flaws? Must you stand over him while he fixes the fan to let him know how crooked it is? Do you have to prove him wrong every time he makes a statement? The fact is, if a man points out all of your insecurities all the time, you will feel small and unwanted. Why do you do it to him? He is not Denzel, but you are not Halle either. A man needs room to be a man. He needs to be wrong and find out on his own. He needs to mess up and then fix it without hearing 1000 times that he messed up. By nature, the man is the head of the household. If he does not feel like to head of the relationship, he will either leave, or you will be with a male(not a man). Don't find it necessary to be confrontational in every aspect of a relationship. Being right is overrated.

3. Submit-This is a word that women hate! This doesn't mean that he should dominate you, but the roles are clear. A man is the head, and a woman is the backbone. We are made to lead; to protect; to provide. However, a body cannot stand without a strong backbone. A strong backbone will hold the body upright and firm, and keep it strong enough to get through the challenges ahead. A weak backbone will make it painful to move forward, and the head will not look as confident. You see, a woman's role is just as important. A man needs a strong woman(backbone) to move forward. But there can only be one head. Don't get being a strong independent woman confused with being the head of a household. We know you don't need us to make it in life, but if you make it alone, who will be there to enjoy it with you?

This may not taste good, but it's good for you!!!!!!

Pure Foolishness!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1BHJNRmBKs

I can't stop laughing at these fools. They are too serious.

Why can't we stay together???

We have all heard the numbers. Divorce is increasing at an alarming rate. Everyone has a theory about it, but the answer is simple: Women have changed, Men have not!!!

I'll explain in more detail. Back in the days when people got married, women had no rights, no jobs, and no options. Many times they were not educated and could not provide for a family, and were forced to deal with whatever type of husband they married(cheater, abuser, alcoholic etc.). A woman's main duty was to stay home and raise the children. She was forced to subject her body to her husband no matter how unsatisfying. Men dominated the household and finances. A woman who wanted to leave a home would be looked down upon by her family, and left with nothing of her own. Men cheated on, beat down, verbally abused, disrespected, and all but sh*t on their wives in many cases. A woman was expected to take it with a "he's really a good man and loves you" attitude.

Fast forward to 2009. There are more women a college than men. It is not uncommon for a woman to be the sole provider in the household. Women hold management & executive positions with major companies. It is more likely for a woman than a man to buy there first home as a single person. Women are more open sexually and we are in a society that embraces sexual expression.

What does this have to do with divorce you ask? Women have changed. They are more confident, more independent, have more money, smarter, more sexual, and have more options. Men? Well we are the same. We have the same expectations of our women as or parents and grandparents did, while women have evolved into something totally different. Sure women are nurturers by nature, but in a microwave society, their patience for the B.S. has run short. The unity of Marriage is based on unconditional love. Conditions have now been added. Women have decided that they will not take our mediocrity. A new millennium woman will have no tolerance for a man with a 60's mindset.

Back in the day we could cheat 10 times and still have our woman. Now it's one and done!!! Back then we could stay out all night knowing she would be home. Now she will be with someone else if you stay too long. If you can't satisfy her sexual needs, something or someone will. If you so much as scratch her, be prepared to spend the night in jail.

As equal members of society, there is now a constant power struggle between genders. A war that is brewing in almost every relationship out there. We need to embrace women's evolution, and not be outdone. Fellas, step it up!!(I'll get on the ladies tomorrow)

Are you a Myspace Freak?

Just a few years ago it was considered taboo & risky. Today, social networking has become the norm for millions as the primary source for meeting people. As we adapt to the times, it seems more acceptable to be able to connect with people whom you otherwise would have never known thought the world wide web. However, overuse can create a social dependency on Internet communication and make it difficult to connect outside of the computer. Many people fall into the comfort zone of a social profile, where they can highlight their attributes and accomplishments, and hide all the little dark secrets. Have you become so consumed with the Facebooking, Tweeting, and Myspacing, that it would seem almost abnormal to you to meet someone any other way? Here's how to tell if you are addicted:

1. It is the first thing you check when you wake up-New messages, new posts, new friends?

2. You have gone on multiple dates with people that you have met online

3. You have slept with people you have met online

4. You keep the site up all day at work

5. You have mobile notifications so that you get your messages instantly

6. When you go out, you always see people who are your Facebook/Myspace friends

7. You visit someones profile who you don't know, more than 2 times in one day

8. You can't go more than 24 hours without checking you page

9. Your boyfriend/girlfriend would be upset if they knew the level of your activity

10. You have multiple pages on one site.

If you have been a member of any networking site for any amount of time, you may be guilty of at least one of these. There is nothing wrong with embracing the new form of communication and developing relationships, but don't let it consume your life, and affect your chances of meeting real live people.

Last Chance for greatness!!!!

It is true. We have raised the measuring stick of greatness so high, that it is no longer acceptable to have 3 championship rings and be considered great. Scoring titles, MVP awards, and All-Star appearances are not enough. Or maybe that's just the case for a Mr. Kobe Bryant.

This man has provided us with consistent progress throughout his career, 3 rings, endless highlights, an 81-point game, a 35 PPG season, and MVP award, and too many other accolades to fit in his trophy room. And for some reason, we put a but before each of those. "But he has Shaq", But he shot too much", "But he's not a good teammate".

The fact is that this may be Kobe's last chance to come delete the asterich from all of his already hall of fame worthy accomplishments. Kobe is over 30 & many of his key teammates will be free agents. Phil Jackson future is not certain, and there is a hungry Lebron at home now contemplating his dominance for next year.

Of course 3 NBA titles puts him into to top 10% quartile of great players; and his 28 ppg, 30 ppg, & 25 ppg average during those seasons proves that he was more than Batman's Robin. Still the fact is that Kobe has to show us one more time who he is. Many still blame him for breaking up a dynasty because he wanted to be the focus of attention. Now he must prove that to be a good decision.

If Kobe wants to quiet the haters, cynics, & naysayers, he will have to go into this summer holding a number four up in the air!!!

Your man will be whatever you teach him to be!

Although we resent the analogy, in so many ways, men are like dogs. We will only take what you give us, and do what you let us. When you get a new dog, and allow him to sh*t on your carpet, pee on your walls, chew you furniture & run wild through the house, he will take advantage of every opportunity to do so. But if you force him to respect your home, give him boundaries & set out rules, he will abide by them.

Much of this is the same for a man. We will always do what you let us. No matter how much we like you, we will test the limits. If you allow it, you will be taken advantage of. Once this happens, it is almost impossible to get us back in line. That goes for cheating, talking disrespectfully, being thoughtful or any other thing you can think of in a relationship. We are predators by nature, so it is innate for us to look for weakness. Once we find it, we expose it, and attack it.

If you have lost control of your relationship and your man is running wild, it may be too late to reel him in. Or it may be time to let him know that you are weighing your options. If there is one thing that many women forget, is that you have the power. Everything we do, whether its making money, fashion, working out, buying a nice car, or getting a haircut, is for the attention of women. When you recognize that power, you can take back your relationship. If you give it up, we will dominate you.

Remember, no matter how big and vicious the dog is, if it respects you, it will never bite!!!!!

Fake Alert!!!!! Plies

Hip Hop has come to a point where reality is hidden underneath glitz, glamour, bling and Bull Sh*t. That fact is no more evident than in the artist known as Plies. Business man? Maybe. Hustler? Certainly. Goon? doubtfully. Clown? Definitely.

If you listen to his music, it is filled with street proclamations and assurances of a stone cold killer. If you listen to his interviews, they display an educated man with a knowledgeable business mind. So which is he? Is it that a street goon can also be well educated and well spoken, or that an educated man can use an ignorant image to sell records? I choose the latter.

I have no problem with hardcore music. I am a fan of much of it. But when you portray an image that is beyond your scope, you are lying to our youth. When you mispronounce words purposely to add a flavorful sound(one which our children mimic to live up to the image), you are a liar. When you have a college education that is never mentioned, but you rap constantly about jail and your willingness to kill your own people, you are a fake.

I don't know him, but I have seen enough to tell me that he is not who he portrays. Of course we have that problem with many of our hip-hop artists today. I picked him because if you listen to him speak, he seems to know better. The wealth that he accrues from his records to me is payment for nothing more than modern day Coonery. I hope it is worth his soul!!!!

Money Tip Monday's 2-Teach your kids early!

I was in school for more than half my life. I have taken classes on biology, algebra, history, English etc. Out of all the classes I have taken in high school, college, & law school, not one of them has showed me how to balance a checkbook, or the basics of a bank account.

No matter where life takes us, or what direction we choose to follow, the one constant discord in most of our lives, is the way we handle money. Regardless of how educated or uneducated, the way we manage our money brings more discord than any other part of our lives. That is because we were left to figure that part out on our own.

If you want your children to get a head start in life, teach them how to handle money. Help them avoid the traps that we so easily fell into at the beginning of adulthood. Schools will not teach your kids how to get the best interest rate, or negotiate a home purchase, or shop for bargains, or even balance a checkbook. If we want better for our kids, teach them to avoid the mistakes that we made.

Open a bank account for your teenage son. Let your daughter sit with you as you pay the monthly bills. Financial responsibility is the biggest downfall in many of our homes. We must take a proactive approach to break the generational curse. If you want something different, do something different. Peace out!!

Want a good man, get in the gym!!

I'm not trying to offend you ladies. I don't mean that you need to workout. What I'm saying is that their are lots of good men working out in the gym. If a guy works out regularly, this tells you a few things about him:

1. He cares about his appearance

2. He has a steady job-most gym memberships don't come cheap some he needs some steady income to pay those membership fees.

3. He has an active checking account-most gyms require the fees to be drafted from you account. No more pay as you play policies so you know a man at least has to have an account balance.

4. He's not afraid to sweat-Whether working around the house, or working you out in the bedroom, a man that goes to the gym consistently shows that he's not afraid to get a little dirty.

So the next time you ladies balk about going to the gym, just know that your prince charming may be getting pumped for you.

Money tip Monday's--Buying a Car?

When negotiating to buy a car, most times the dealer has the advantage because they have all of the information. All you know is that you want the car. The next time you goo to buy a car, once you have the found the one you want, ask the dealer to see the invoice. The invoice contains the wholesale price of all items included in the car, and what they paid for them. You can compare the invoice price with the sticker price to see how much they have marked up an particular vehicle. Now you know how much they will make off of you. If they refuse the invoice, tell them that the dealer down the street just showed it to you and you are not into playing games.

Now that you have the power, you can offer a price either right at invoice, or a little bit over in addition to any other rebates they may have. These are always separate from the actual vehicle prices. Dealers will be more willing to sell to you at invoice towards the end of the month once they have reached their quota. Manufacturers give them extra incentives and they still make a great profit on the cars while selling at cost.

Use this info next time you hear a dealer saying that they have to make money. Buy your car for as low as you can. Happy shopping!!!